Hanxiety or Banxiety

Are you feeling anxious about something? Are you experiencing Hanxiety or Banxiety?

Hanxiety: having a heavy heart full of worry

Banxiety: having a brain bothered by worry

Of course these are made-up words; but they are rather descriptive of two types of anxiety. Anxiety, being a natural response to stress, can be described as feelings of unease, being nervous, or worried. Anxiety is usually a reaction to an unknown.

Some people have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and seek treatment for it including therapy, medication or a combination. These are not the Hanxious or Banxious folks. These are the sufferers of Anxiety in all of its debilitating harshness.

Aside from the diagnosed anxiety disorder, some people are just more prone to being worried. There are those that worry if they aren’t worried. Or concerned if there is nothing to be concerned about. Those are the ones I call BANXIOUS. They let their brain do the worrying. They are worst case scenario people. They spin. They put their fears and nay-saying onto others and try to control situations with their what-if’s. They push people away with all of their questions and boundary breaking.

Then there are those that are HANXIOUS. They worry with their hearts. They have a sadness that is weighing them down. These are the ones who have actual things to be worried about. They have an outcome they are dreading and they can’t change it, they can only worry about how it is going to go. These are the people at deathbeds, in sick rooms, at business closings, in courtrooms, and behind bars. These are the people that are not usually worried about things. They need a hug, a hand up, an answer, a prayer. But these worriers don’t know how to ask for help. They will be in it alone.

You would think that the Anxiety or worry that is created in the brain would be the more logical of the two. It is not. One worry leads to another, to another, the thoughts build on each other, the chatter is endless. It doesn’t have to make sense for the mind to roll it around enough to create a giant snowball out of it.

The heavy heart knows exactly what is weighing it down. It knows the exact thing that has caused worry and it knows what would take it away. The heart also knows it can hold two opposite things at once. It can be sad and happy at the same time. It can find joy in the sorrow, beauty in the destruction.

Aside from the medications and therapy for the diagnosed anxiety disorders being effective, there are also some simple (not necessarily easy) things that can be done to quell some of the Banxiety and Hanxiety.

When your brain is firing on all cylinders in the spiraling of worry what it needs to stop that pattern is something that interrupts it. A very simple thing to do is to tell yourself “Stop.” Say it out loud if you have to. Do it mid worrying thought. The mere act of putting a stop to the momentum of the spiral is amazing. Telling yourself that you are not going to keep thinking about something is powerful. Especially when YOU are telling YOU. You are in charge of what you allow yourself to think. Period. You might have to tell yourself again and again but it will work.

What does the Hanxious person need to do besides find someone to hug them? They need to pray. Whatever that looks like. They need to hand their worry and concern to a higher power. Prayer is powerful. It is handing over the reigns and saying “I can’t manage this, it is too heavy, I’m giving it to you.” Meditation. Becoming centered in quiet and reverence can interrupt some of the sadness and lift the weight ever so slightly so that the light can get in.

My family is experiencing these two types of anxiety as we head down a grief trail together separately; we have been on it before. It’s not the same in some ways; the end will be different, the key travelers are the same. There is peace amongst the sadness. There is rage amongst the hope. Tears with the belly laughs. There is worry. Some will be Banxious, most will be Hanxious. Our hearts are heavy. Love will do that….