Grief is like…

Grief is like an onion. It is layer upon layer of tear inducing moments. It doesn’t get any less intense the more layers you peel back or go through. It is only when you are finished doing the work of grieving that you can say that it was worth it…. Wait a minute, you never finish the work of grief. Maybe we should compare it to a rose bud.

Grief is like a rosebud. A rosebud can be a symbol of potential, new beginnings, hope. It is a tightly fisted teardrop of layer upon layer of petals. You must carefully peel back each layer to reveal the next layer underneath as you work your way to the center where there is the promise of beauty to come.

While the rosebud is a much more pleasant picture than an onion, it is still not an accurate depiction of grief. You see, unlike the layers upon layers of a rose bud or an onion, grief’s layers never end. They change, they become less strong, they become more hope-filled, and beautiful; but they never end. There is no magic center with no more layers.

Grief is more like a long climb up a hill.

Grieving is like climbing an incline. Very few are in shape for the climb and exertion this will be. Not many people start up this incline perfectly equipped for the elevation changes, altitude adjustments, and changes in terrain.

This incline comes out of the pit of darkness that you fell into. It is an incline with steps. These steps are placed unevenly along the trail upward. Some steps are a gentle rise and others are three railroad ties high and require actual crawling to keep moving upward.

These steps are great places for taking a rest. Their nice flat landings are a place to pause and take in the scenery from your new vantage point. You can look down and see from where you have climbed, walked, crawled. You can look around at the view that is now afforded you. You can look up and see just how far it is you still have to go.

Sometimes these staircases have false summits. There is a flat spot you have been eyeing your whole way up and when you reach it you realize the rest of the steps were hidden from your view during your climb thus far.

Once at the true summit, your journey isn’t really over. It is just more stable terrain, more flat than uneven. You are exhausted, yet stronger.

Why write about grief in this blog? Why not? Everyone in the world has experienced loss of some kind. If there is loss, there is grief. Be kind. Be patient. If you can, walk along side of them as they head up the hill, maybe carry their water… and snacks.